How to Overcome Mom Guilt for Working: 3 Strategies for Balancing Career and Family

Apr 7

Being a working mom comes with a constant push and pull—loving your work and your family, yet feeling like you’re never quite getting it right. You’re not alone in this. Mom guilt is something so many of us wrestle with, and it can feel overwhelming. But what if I told you that balance doesn’t have to mean doing it all perfectly?

When I hired my most recent business coach, I was excited to dive into strategy – funnels, ads, scaling my business. But in our very first conversation, I found myself laying out something completely different: my mindset struggles. Specifically the guilt I felt about making time for work while being a mom.

Even though I spend a lot of time at home with my kids and from my core believe in setting an empowered example of working motherhood especially for my daughters, a seed of doubt kept whispering that I was taking something away from my family. I wasn’t doing enough. I couldn’t do it all.

In the weeks that followed, I wrestled with these feelings. I could feel myself becoming tense and my head spinning. I tried to keep it all at bay by doubling down on managing my calender, time blocking with even more precision, and started to wonder – maybe I was aiming too high. Maybe I was asking too much.

Then I had a conversation with a client that changed everything. She too was struggling with mom guilt – the all-or-nothing mindset that made her feel like she had to choose being a great mom or making time for her own needs and ambitions. We dug into the real issue, and what I shared with her was just as much a wake-up call for me as it was her. Isn’t it funny how easy it is to dole out advice and encouragement to others and not ourselves?

The Truth About Balance as a Working Mom

Have you fell into the trap of needing to have it all figured out as a mom? As if there’s some magical level of work-life balance where everyone’s needs are met and no one feels stretched thin. But in reality? Balance is an ebb and flow. Life is constantly shifting and so are your priorities and never is that more apparent than in motherhood.

So next time you feel like you’re falling short, remember these three things:

Balance isn’t equal.
Some seasons demand more from one area of your life than another and that’s okay.
Guilt is only a feeling.
It’s not proof you’re failing.
You’re running your own race.
Stop measuring yourself with someone else’s ruler.

How to Let Go of Working Mom Guild and Find Your Version of Balance

It’s one thing to know balance is an ebb and flow, but it’s another to actually feel okay with it. Here are three practical ways to reframe mom guilt and create a version of balance that works for you.

1. Define what balance means to you

Balance isn’t about breaking even. It’s not about giving equal energy to work and family 100% of the time. Life has seasons and balance will look different in each one. When my kids were younger, and sleep was unheard of, balance looked like taking advantage of rest instead of using every spare minute to grind. Now that they are older, I’m able to wake up early and get steps and a cup of coffee in without angst that they’ll be up soon so I don’t have long. I have more date nights with my husband and girls nights with my friends.

It’s really hard to remember there are seasons when you’re in it though; everything feels like it’ll last forever. We’re driven and we want what we want like yesterday. We’re not used to obstacles standing in our way - not that our families are obstacles, but sometimes it can sure feel that way. If only they would sleep, if only they were independent, if only we had more help.

So I ask you, what does balance mean for you? In this season, what does balance look like? What’s getting in your way?

2. Name the guilt (Is it really guilt?)

Guilt is often a catch-all for deeper feelings like fear or self-doubt that are harder to name, to deal with, and to own. But when you say you’re guilty, are you really guilty, or are you afraid? Afraid of being judged or making the wrong choice? Are you worried – that your kids will feel unloved or hate you for missing bedtime? Get specific about what’s underneath the guilt and you’ll often realize it’s not guilt at all - it’s a story you’re telling yourself.

And regardless of what it is you’re feeling - be it guilt or fear - you’re allowed to feel it AND it doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom, doing it wrong, messing things up, or selfish. You crave time with your kids and family and you know how valuable that is. How wonderful for your kids to be so loved that you tear yourself up to show up more for them and also, there’s no need for that.

3. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else’s highlight reel

Comparison is the fastest way to feel like you’re failing in motherhood and at life. You can feel great about yourself one moment and then one scroll through Instagram and suddenly you’re feeling so behind. That mom from high school just got her doctorate while raising a newborn baby and you’re here just trying to answer emails without a meltdown.

But do you even want her life? What is it that you actually admire? Just because someone else is winning doesn’t mean you’re losing. You’re running your own race. Stay focused on you and your family and stop comparing. You can admire and look up to someone while acknowledging you’re uniquely different with different needs.

And here’s a bonus tip 👇🏼

4. You know yourself and your family better than anyone else.

You don’t need permission to build a life that works for you.

You Don’t Need Permission to Build a Life That Works for You

I get that this is easier said than done—maybe a good quote for your grandmother’s needlepoint. But if you’re tired of feeling like you’re behind the ball, never winning, I invite you to take the next step.

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Let’s chat! If you’re ready to stop feeling like you’re falling short and start creating a life that actually feels good to live, schedule a free chat with me. I help career moms get rid of the guilt and pressure so they can finally feel present and enjoy life more fully. Book a call here!