The Importance of Connection Before Implementing Change in Life and Parenting

I often use the phrase “connect before redirect” with my clients. It’s a phrase I learned from Dr. Dan Siegel’s work; he’s a parenting expert who’s created a ton of material that’s changed the landscape of parenting and therapeutic work (I mention a few of my favorite reads on this freebie).  This approach is rooted in empathy and understanding and from a parenting standpoint it’s about meeting our children where they are before guiding them to where they’ll go next. Not barking out commands because we said so or believe we know best but creating a relationship and entering our kid’s world. 

Yet, I’ve learned over the years that this concept is more than just about parenting; it’s a mindset shift that can benefit all aspects of our lives. For example, what if we were to connect with ourselves before redirecting our actions or initiating change? Extending ourselves compassion, slowing down our thoughts, increasing awareness of our emotions and reactions, getting curious and being open. How would our relationships - with ourselves first and foremost, but also with others - be improved? How much better equipped would we be at handling stress and the demands of our lives if we weren’t constantly putting out fires and making things worse with our impulsivity? 

The phrase reminds us to pause and be grounded in the moment; to respond rather than react. Permission to extend ourselves grace and let go of the heavy hand of criticism that we once believed motivated us. Allowing for deeper, more meaningful connections. 
So whether you’re struggling with parenting, relationships, the demands of life, or simply feel disconnected from yourself, remember the power and versatility of the phrase “connect before redirect”.  By nurturing a compassionate connection with yourself, you can build stronger, more fulfilling connections with others and navigate life's challenges with confidence and intention.